The New Forest & Bournemouth - a Cycling Perambulation

The journey from Kent to the New Forest by train is something of an epic, although remarkably cheap if you travel along the South Coast via Brighton and Southampton. I alighted at Brockenhurst, with the feeling that astronauts must get after travelling to the moon and first setting foot on the lunar landscape as I headed south along a B-road. My aim was to cycle a former railway track-bed to Ringwood, but a sign said 'Residents Only' (or words to that effect) at the point where it left the road. So I decided to ride a big square to get onto the route further west, encountering my first New Forest ponies under a bridge. I then recapped the eastern end of the track-bed and it turned out that perhaps the sign had been aimed at vehicles rather than bikes, for I passed many other cyclists oblivious to this prohibition.

Resuming a westward course, after a few miles I reached the remnants of a station where an elderly couple warned me so that I didn't ride over an adder. The old man remarked that it looked beautiful, but having never been a huge fan of snakes I politely voiced a counter-opinion! We watched it slither away into the long grass, and breathing a sigh of relief, I continued. Yet, within a few minutes of resuming my ride, I nearly rode over another one. The snake coiled upon itself in defence and I vowed to get well out of this area before thinking about camping. Later, when I crossed a lane, the way it curved up the hillside reminded me of the shape of the snake, but I found this much more attractive (sorry, nature lovers!).

At the end of the track, I turned right towards the village of Burley and took a short cut up Honey Lane (a pleasant name for a muddy track). About six ponies were coming the other way, like a family out for an afternoon stroll. After more lanes and a short resurgence of the track-bed, I headed into Ringwood. A hiker asked me for the very specific amount of £1.50. Thinking he might be homeless I took pity, but afterwards felt that I might have been conned. It's always so tricky to know what is the right thing to do in these situations.

To the south of the town, the railway route continues westward, now named the Castleman Way (or Castleman Corkscrew due to its circuitous route to take in as many towns as possible between Brockenhurst and Poole). It bridged a few rivers and was a straight, lightly forested route, at times running as two trails side by side.

I decided to stop at a pub in the village of West Moors. Relaxing with a pint, I took in the vibes of the radio station which was playing non-stop rock classics. The bar staff said they receive mixed opinions from their customers but thanked me for my complimentary feedback (guitarist's pun intended). I enjoyed a healthy salmon dinner before moving on.

The route beyond deviated from the old rail route, using various woodland tracks, eventually steering me onto the main road into Wimborne Minster. At Leigh Common, I headed into the woods in search of a camping spot. There was a trail on a wooden platform over wetlands – the longest of its kind that I've seen. I eventually made my bed beside a fence. Some young men in fields nearby seemed to be getting drunk, and when they went quiet, some noisy teenage girls started shrieking with merriment. Naturally, I kept as inconspicuous as possible until my eyelids grew heavy and the revelry subsided.

It amazed me that the footpath behind the fence was busy even before it got light. After some dozing, I packed everything away and rode into Wimborne Minster, choosing a Polish cafe for a traditional English breakfast. I had a look inside the minster before taking a course southward from the town, accidentally frequenting the ladies' - twice! The funny look I got the second time was what gave the game away.

Rejoining the track-bed, which now began a long descent towards Poole, tiredness began to encroach, so I stopped for a rest in a wooded glade near where the path bridges the mighty A35. I used my rucksack as a pillow and actually dozed, dreaming in sounds only (strange things happen when asleep in the woods!).

After the bridge there were some estate roads (these look the same in every town) and soon after I got a bit lost, finding my way through Upton Park, to a path which ran along the top of Poole Harbour. The harbour is often claimed to be the second largest natural harbour in the world after Sydney. This upper part is also a nature reserve (read 'covered with algae'). When I reached Poole 'Old Town,' I decided to explore. The Lower High Street was very quaint, but further up were all the usual stores (like those suburbs – the same in every town – except in my home town where far too many shops are displaying 'To Let' signs to befit the 'boom town' epithet often bestowed upon it). I returned to a pub in the quaint part and took in the vibes of the beer garden, after watching an elderly couple drink up rapidly and leave having been blasted with rave music from the juke box inside. I knew it was a mistake when they came in and sat right beneath the speaker.

The next part of the ride along Poole Harbour was the day's high point, with views to Brownsea Island (site of Baden-Powell's first scout camp) and the Purbeck Hills across the water and a pleasant green ever to my left on the landward side. However, disappointment followed at the end of Shore Road – I wanted to ride the sea-wall to Bournemouth but bikes aren't allowed on the esplanade in July and August. An RNLI collector ventured, 'You're probably wondering why we are here?' I replied, 'To be honest I'm wondering if I can bike along this sea-wall!' His response was informative, so I put some coins in the bucket before pounding eastwards along the leafy cliff-top roads instead, gently curving, with a suspension footbridge over one of the 'chines.'

I breezed through Bournemouth and on to Boscombe, where I saw the first signs of High Street decline on this trip. I imagine that Internet shopping is to blame for the traditional High Street's struggles along with the perpetual recession and the continued policy of lower tax for businesses locating out of town. I also saw a 'Doctor Who' style police box at the start of the pedestrian area. Maybe such a TARDIS could whizz me back to a time when our High Streets were buzzing!

The rest of the ride took me through interminable suburbs as far as some woodland near the village of Hurn. Here I made the pivotal decision to go home. The threat of rain for most of the next day was one reason, but I was also nearing the New Forest again; as the afternoon progressed I would soon need to find a camping spot and there is a ban on wild camping across the whole of the New Forest (and who would want to with all those snakes?). So another adventure drew to a close. There are plenty more to read about in my book, 'Stair Rods and Stars.' The digital editions of most my books are now free, so if you've enjoyed this narrative, why not have a look on Kindle, iBooks, etc. and go 'the full cycle?'

Hamstreet, Kent / Royal Military Canal - Cycling Routes

[Transcript from original web page]

This web page may be freely copied for use on cycle rides. To view two videos of the towpath on YouTube search for 'Royal Military Canal by bike.'

The Royal Military Canal runs for 28 miles from Cliff End (near Hastings) to Seabrook (near Folkestone). This peaceful waterway was built as a line of defence against a feared invasion by Napoleon, and the bends roughly every third of a mile were intended to serve as lookout points along the ‘straights’. After Hadrian's Wall and Offa's Dyke it is the third longest defensive structure in the UK. A footpath runs the entire length of the canal, but this page shows how cycleable sections between Hamstreet and Seabrook can be used.

Also included are links from Hamstreet to the national cycle network to reach the nearby towns of Ashford and Tenterden, as well as circular recreational routes exploring woodland byways and Romney Marsh. To begin the routes from Hamstreet, head for the crossroads, 300 yards south of the railway station. Note that the section of canal path between Ruckinge and Hamstreet can have unavoidable puddles if wet, and the byway/bridleway routes can be muddy.

Canal eastbound: From Hamstreet to Hythe (12/13m) and Folkestone (18/19m)

Our route commences at the crossroads by The Duke's Head and heads south through the High Street to exit the village along Marsh Road. We join the canal after the bridge by the garden centre. Turning left, you will find a 1.5 mile hard-surfaced trail to Ruckinge.

The second half is designated as ‘footpath’ so our route turns right onto a grassy byway just before a pumping station. (If you wish to continue beside the canal to Ruckinge - the slightly shorter option - you may have to lift your bike over a fence/gate.The land-owner is tolerant if you show respect, and the author advises walking with your bike. Upon reaching the bridge, turn left onto the lane, then right onto the B2067 to pass the Blue Anchor pub. After a mile of undulations, turn right in Bilsington by the White Horse to descend the hill, cross the canal and continue onto the Marsh at the point marked ***).

On the byway route heading south, you will encounter three right-angle bends – left, right and left again. Please close and fasten all gates. You will eventually reach Lord's Farm, where it becomes a driveway. When you reach the lane, continue across it onto the lane to Bilsington, which eventually rejoins the canal. Note, the monumental obelisk to a local landowner, Sir William Richard Cosway, who died in a coaching accident. At the T-junction by the road-bridge, turn right.

*** Our lane heads back out onto the Marsh for around a mile. Take the first left turn. This lane will pass Honeywood Farm and you will reach a T-junction at the end - turn right.

A few hundred yards later you will reach a T-junction with the Newchurch road - turn left. Shortly after this is a staggered junction - the building on the corner was once Bonnington’s pub. 

Turn left and then right onto Lower Wall Road, which runs along the bottom of the greensand hills (Noel Coward's former home can viewed upon the escarpment). Take the left turn towards the hills after a couple of miles (Aldergate Lane). After bridging the canal, turn right onto the gravel trail. As you ride, you may see the wild animals of Port Lympne Zoo Park to your left. A little further along, the hills are occupied by Lympne Castle and the remains of the Roman ‘Stutfall’ Castle further down the slope. Lympne was indeed a port in this era.

The trail continues across the lane when you reach West Hythe village, and further on there is a ‘listening ear’ dish upon the hillside, designed to detect incoming enemy aircraft from across The English Channel in the days before RADAR. Upon reaching Scanlons Bridge Road at Hythe (nearest railway station = Sandling), the canal path swaps to the south bank. The path crosses Dymchurch Road and Stade Street and upon reaching Twiss Road the cycle path returns to the north bank. A couple of miles later, the path brings us out onto the A259 at Seabrook - the end of the canal. Turn right and use the sea-wall/national cycle route 2 via Sandgate to reach Folkestone, and find the railway station if returning by train.

Canal westbound: From Folkestone to Hythe (6m) and Hamstreet (18/19m)

The Royal Military Canal begins at Seabrook, which can be reached via the sea-wall/national cycle route 2 from Folkestone harbour, via Sandgate.

Join the A259 when the sea-wall comes away from the main road near a petrol station. Pass the petrol station on your left and look for the beginning of the canal path 300 yards later on your left hand side (it is just after a grassy area on the left). Follow this the trail for two miles until it reaches Twiss Road, beyond which the route switches to the south bank.

The path crosses Stade Street and Dymchurch Road. After crossing Scanlon's Bridge Road by the light railway station, it swaps back to the north bank, beginning as a narrow roadway. The road eventally becomes a gravel path, and as you leave the town, note the ‘listening ear’ dish upon the hillside, designed to detect incoming enemy aircraft from across The English Channel in the days before RADAR. 

The trail continues across the road at West Hythe village. As you ride on, look right to view Lympne Castle and the remains of the Roman ‘Stutfall’ Castle further down the slope. A little further on you may glimpse the wild animals of Port Lympne Zoo Park.

Sadly the bike-friendly part of the towpath ends at Aldergate Lane Bridge. We turn left to go over across and along Aldergate Lane until reaching a T-junction. Turn right onto Lower Wall Road and follow this for two miles. At the end, there is a staggered junction. Turn left and then right towards Newchurch - the building on the corner was once Bonnington’s pub.

Take the next turning right and turn left shortly afterwards onto the lane passing Honeywood Farm. At the end of this lane turn right towards Bilsington. Note, the monumental obelisk to a local landowner, Sir William Richard Cosway, who died in a coaching accident. At the canal bridge one has a choice. (If you feel able to lift your bike over a gate/fence, continue ahead up the hill and turn left onto the B2067 at Bilsington crossroads, by the White Horse pub. After a mile of undulations you will reach Ruckinge. Turn left after the Blue Anchor pub and then right onto the canal path immediately after the bridge. The first 3/4 mile is designated 'footpath.' The landowner is tolerant towards cyclists if they show respect, although it may be best to walk with your bike until a byway joins from the left, after you pass the brick pumping station. Continue ahead to the end of the trail at Hamstreet bridge, where our route continues at the point marked ***). 

Our slightly longer 'official' route turns left onto Tar Pot Lane at Bilsington canal bridge and we are reunited briefly with the canal bank before the lane heads back out into the Marsh. At the end of the lane, continue ahead onto the byway. This becomes a grass track shortly after passing Lord's Farm. As the route progresses, you will encounter three right-angle bends – right, left and right again at the junction of byways. Please close and fasten all gates.

Upon reaching the canal bank, turn left and make the most of the canal-side trail to Hamstreet bridge***, where we turn right to pass the garden centre and head into the village. Hamstreet was once featured in map form on a series of stamps to commemorate 200 years of the Ordnance Survey, who began their first countrywide survey near the village. Continue ahead at the crossroads by The Duke's Head for the railway station.

Extending the route: This guide does not cover the western half of the canal due to it using busier, faster paced roads. However, completists may wish to continue using the B2067 (Hamstreet-Kenardington), Appledore Road/Kenardington Road, The Street (Appledore) and Military Road which runs beside the canal from Appledore to Rye. There is a also a grassy bridleway beside the River Brede (which multiplexes with the canal) from Harbour Road, Rye to Sea Road, Winchelsea.

Link to Tenterden (11m) - byway & national cycle route 18

Hamstreet to Tenterden: From Hamstreet crossroads, take the B2067 towards Tenterden. You will pass beneath two bridges and climb gently for a mile. Take the right turn onto Malthouse Lane which climbs some more and enters Orlestone Forest. The Weald of Kent was once completely covered with thick woodland of this kind. A mile later, we reach the T-junction with Birchett Lane. Turn left and then right a few hundred yards later, onto the hard-surfaced trail heading northwest.

Be warned, this route can be quite muddy in winter. After a mile, there are two ninety-degree bends. A quarter of a mile later, a byway exits left; do not take this - continue ahead. Shortly after this another trail exits right – again continue straight ahead. 

You will eventually emerge to open farmland and meet Shadoxhurst Road, where we take a right turn.

At the next T-junction, turn left and follow the blue 'cycle route 18' signs - across two crossroads on Plurenden Rd, left at the next T-junction onto Harbourne Lane, right at the next junction onto Swain Rd, then left onto Ox Lane at the top of the hill, and left again onto the A28 at the Fat Ox.

Tenterden to Hamstreet: Head towards Ashford on the A28, turning right at the Fax Ox pub. Turn right at the end of Ox Lane onto Swain Road and follow the blue cycleway signs. After descending through trees, bear left at the T-junction and turn right at the end of Harbourne Lane. Continue ahead passing Redbrook Street crossroads and over the crossroads with Bethersden Road. 

At the end of the lane turn right onto local cycle route 11, turning left onto the byway very soon after. Follow this byway into the woods and onward when a trail joins from the left and also when another byway exits right. At the end of the byway, turn left onto Birchett Lane and then right at the T-junction a few hundred yards later onto Malthouse Lane. You will eventually descend to a T-junction with the B2067. Turn left to descend for a mile to Hamstreet crossroads.

Ashford circular route (19 miles) or one way (9 miles) - bridleway, cycle routes and byway

This route can be used for a one way trip to Ashford (train back) or as a complete circuit. If starting from Ashford, head south under the brick subway beneath the railway station and turn right to begin with Part 2. Note, the wooded sections can be muddy.

Part 1: Head towards Hythe along the one-way street from Hamstreet crossroads and take the second left turn onto Bourne Lane (by the World War II pillbox). At the end of the lane, bear right, through the gate into Hamstreet Woods. Our bridleway bears immediately left, and at the next junction it bears right. Stay on the grassy path, as the surfaced path on the left eventually deviates. Follow this for a mile to the top of the woods. It can be very muddy in winter. Go through the gate, and shortly afterwards turn left at the T-junction with Gill Lane byway. 

Continue ahead where the Saxon Shore Way exits right along a farm track. 300 yards later you will reach a road junction; turn right. At the next junction turn left to head northward. You will reach a crossroads at the end of this lane. Continue ahead onto Brisley Lane and follow this all the way to the end.

Turn left to head northward, and at Bliby crossroads around 400 yards later, turn left again towards Kingsnorth.

At the T-junction a mile ahead, bear left over the railway and A2070 bridge. Follow the road round to the right as it becomes Violet Way. Then look for the Violet Way 'cul de sac' turning on the left and pick up the path from this, taking care to give way to pedestrians. Eventually another surfaced path will branch off to the left - take this path.

Continue ahead near Furley Park school, and at the end of the path is a metal gate. Turn right onto the next path and follow this across Reed Crescent (via the traffic island to the left as the route joins the road) and Bluebell Road, so that you are now riding the cycle route beside Sheepfold Lane. This is all part of the Park Farm Estate.

After crossing Roman Road, use the crossing over Sheepfold Lane and follow the path out to the A2070 between fences. Cross this road and follow the cycle route past the roundabout, beneath the road bridge and on across meadows beside the railway line, until reaching the end.

Turn left here and follow the natural course of the cycle path past the bus stops, over the zebra crossing and along the left-hand-side of the tented designer shopping outlet. At the end, cross Newtown Road and continue ahead towards the international railway station. (For the town centre turn right to pass beneath the brick subway - mind your heads - and turn left afterwards, following the signs beyond.)

Part 2: To ride to Hamstreet, you can either retrace the route of Part 1, or for a slightly longer ride back follow the road onward towards the international station. Bear left with the road, picking up the cycleway beside it, passing beneath a dual carriageway bridge and to the right of a multi-storey car-park. Cross Beaver Road and continue ahead on the cycleway. At Victoria Park, continue ahead, passing the fountain and follow the cycleway to Brookfield Road. Turn right and then follow the cycleway on your left, passing Singleton Lake. Upon reaching Bucksford Lane, turn left. Continue ahead at the staggered junction and climb Singleton Hill, onward and upward at the roundabout.

Turn left at the top of the hill and then right to descend to the hamlet of Chilmington. Turn left at the end of the road and then right onto Chart Road. At the end of this lane turn left to emerge by the Kings Head pub in Shadoxhurst. Turn right here and continue ahead out of the village towards Woodchurch. Continue ahead when national cycle route 18 exits right towards Tenterden, and look for the byway on your left.

Follow this byway into the woods and on ahead as a trail joins from the left and also when another byway exits right. At the end of the byway, turn left onto Birchett Lane and then right at the T-junction a few hundred yards later onto Malthouse Lane. You will eventually descend to a T-junction with the B2067. Turn left to descend for a mile to Hamstreet crossroads.

Quick 'four seasons' route to Ashford (6.5 miles) 

This is a quicker route to Ashford for cyclists who are more experienced with traffic. It uses the old road to Ashford which heads north from the crossroads under the railway bridge. Follow this road for around four miles, up the long hill, along the straight, ahead at Bromley Green Crossroads and past the entrance to Ashford Town's 'Homelands' football ground. Turn right at the next crossroads (signed 'Mersham') onto Steeds Lane. Take the next turning left onto Bond Lane. At the end of this road, turn left and then turn right onto the gravel path near where the road enters a 30 limit.

Follow this across Reed Crescent (via the traffic island to the left as the route joins the road) and Bluebell Road, so that you are now riding the cycle route beside Sheepfold Lane. This is all part of the Park Farm Estate.

After crossing Roman Road, use the crossing over Sheepfold Lane and follow the path out to the A2070 between fences. Cross this road and follow the cycle route past the roundabout, beneath the road bridge and on across meadows beside the railway line, until reaching the end.

Turn left here and follow the natural course of the cycle path past the bus stops, over the zebra crossing and along the left-hand-side of the tented designer shopping outlet. At the end, cross Newtown Road and continue ahead towards the international railway station. (For the town centre turn right to pass beneath the brick subway - mind your heads - and turn left afterwards, following the signs beyond.) To return to Hamstreet, merely retrace this route.

Ruckinge circular route (5 miles) - bridleway and byways

Head towards Hythe along the one-way street from Hamstreet crossroads and take the second left turn onto Bourne Lane (by the World War II pillbox). At the end of the lane, bear right, through the gate into Hamstreet Woods. Our bridleway bears immediately left, and at the next junction it bears right. Stay on the grassy path, as the surfaced path on the left eventually deviates. Follow this for a mile to the top of the woods. It can be very muddy in winter. Go through the gate, and shortly afterwards turn left at the T-junction with Gill Lane byway. 

Continue ahead where the Saxon Shore Way exits right along a farm track. 300 yards later you will reach a road junction; turn right. At the next junction continue straight ahead onto the byway and follow it all the way into the woods, around a sharp right-hand bend and down to the B2067, where we turn right to Ruckinge, passing the Blue Anchor pub which was once frequented by smugglers. 

The B2067 continues to Hamstreet, but the canal path is an off-road alternative, although you may have to lift your bike over a gate. For this, turn left at the T-junction, and then right onto the canal path immediately after the bridge. The first 3/4 mile is designated 'footpath.' The landowner is tolerant towards cyclists if they show respect, although it may be best to walk with your bike until a byway joins from the left after you pass the brick pumping station. Continue ahead to the end of the trail at Hamstreet bridge (by the garden centre) and turn right to return to the village centre.

Shadoxhurst circular route (11 miles) - byways 

Follow the Tenterden Link to the end of the woodland byway, turning right onto Shadoxhurst Road and continue ahead to Shadoxhurst. Turn right at the junction as you enter the village (the King's Head pub is 100 yards straight ahead here). Follow this lane past Shadoxhurst church, and after a sharp right-hand bend look for the byway on your left. 

Follow this byway through woodlands, eventually emerging onto Hornash Lane, where we turn right. Take great care crossing the old Ashford to Hamstreet Road at the end of the lane and continue ahead onto Bromley Green Road. Continue ahead at the next crossroads onto Poundhurst Road, which bridges the railway and A2070.. 

1/4 mile after bridging the A2070 and railway line, the lane bears sharply left; continue ahead at this point, onto Gill Lane. This will eventually become a track. Bear right to follow the bridleway right down through Hamstreet Woods nature reserve. This can often be rough or very muddy. At the other end, follow Bourne Lane into the village. Turn left at the end onto the one-way street (by the World War II pill-box), then right at the end onto Cock Lane, and right again into The Street.  

Snargate circular route (9 miles) or Fairfield (13 miles) - lanes 

For a pleasant route using lanes that is almost entirely flat, head south from Hamstreet village along Marsh Road (signed 'New Romney'), crossing the canal bridge, until reaching the A2070 at Johnson's Corner. Johnson was a heroic pilot who lost his life crash-landing his plane here after allowing his crew to parachute to safety. Take great care turning left onto the A2070 and then right immediately onto Ham Mill Lane, which bears right as it heads southwards. This is a pleasant winding lane. Follow it ahead over the crossroads after two miles, passing farms, and continue ahead all the way to the end of the lane. You will emerge onto the B2080 near Snargate Church opposite the Red Lion pub - a unique alehouse serving beer straight from the barrel, with a decor that has been virtually untouched in the last century (closed Mondays).

Turn right to ride westward along the B2080 towards Tenterden and take the second turning right (Arrowhead Lane - signed 'Warehorne'). (If you wish to make a 4-mile round trip to see St Thomas a Becket church at Fairfield, which is located in the middle of a field, take the first turning left off of the B2080 onto Snargate Lane instead. You will cross a level crossing and at the end of the lane, turn right for the final mile to the church along Brack Lane. It is 'footpath only' across the fields to the church. Return by retracing your route to the B2080, then turn left and then right 1/4 mile later onto Arrowhead Lane).

Follow the lane northward ahead at all junctions for two miles, crossing the canal and railway line and then climbing to the scattered community of Warehorne. You will pass St Matthew's Church and the sixteenth century Woolpack Inn. 1/3 mile beyond this you will reach Leacon crossroads. Turn right for a one-mile gentle cruise downhill on the B2067 back to Hamstreet.

Thames Path & Ridgeway West - a Cycling Perambulation

This is a short resume of a cycling expedition that is featured in more detail in the 2016 book 'Stair-Rods and Stars' (ISBN: 978-1513605258) - available now on Amazon and by order from all good book shops.

From a place called 'Home' in deepest Kent, I caught the train to London Charing Cross and began a mission to follow the UK's second longest river for as long as I could on two wheels; a mission I imaginatively christened 'The Thames challenge'.

A flurry of bells struck midday as I cycled past the houses of parliament – an appropriate soundtrack to mark the beginning of an adventure.

It was when the Thames curved away southward beyond Vauxhall Bridge that I was in territory I had not visited before, and I crossed the river several times trying unsuccessfully to locate the cycle route.

After sheltering from the drizzle by means of eating a pasty at a table outside a convenience store, I crossed to the north bank again and soon found myself cowering beneath trees in a park in Fulham as the skies opened more ferociously. Here, I observed other similar humans standing motionless with bikes beneath various bushes. It felt like watching meerkats in a nature programme. The rains stopped and the humans burst back into motion.

I returned to the south bank using the rail and pedestrian conduit of Barnes Bridge.

Richmond impressed me greatly with its rural feel and the first truly rustic looking bridge over the Thames I had encountered. This seemed an appropriate place to stop for a cup of tea. Later came Kingston's 'doshed up' river front, and Walton where the trail gives up the ghost for a couple of miles as the River Wey feeds in. Having survived a burst of A-road at rush hour, and negotiated my way around an area cordoned off by police at Chertsey, the official route reutrned to traverse the north bank to Staines. The Thames had made a huge 'u' shape which just dipped into Surrey. It had a much different feel now, being lined with small boats and regularly splitting into strands to pass through locks – a far cry from the mighty torrent through central London.

After fish, chips and mushy peas in a modern pub with a loud and lively barman who doubted my sanity(!), I contemplated the hotels of Staines (£100+ per room) for around half a second. I also dismissed my 'Plan B' of camping beneath a secluded arch in the road-bridge on grounds that, whilst the town seemed quite pleasant, it is nevertheless the setting for TV's 'Ali G' character and may have been chosen as the location for the 'urban gangster' for a reason. Instead, I found a copse around a mile beyond the M25 bridge and set up camp there instead. Much safer.

Around here is the first glimpse of nearby hills along the river's course since the brief escarpment at Richmond, and there are some information boards which I had passed a couple of times but failed to read, presumably informing people of the signing of the Magna Carta in 1215 at Runnymede. Power to the people.


I was attacked in the night. Not by boy racers from Staines or even by wild boar or common adder; instead I awoke with a swollen lip that felt as though I had just been anaesthetized for a rather large filling at the dentist's. Ignoring this I continued along the path and a section of B-road via the village of Datchet into Windsor (& Eton), eschewing the prospect of exploring the impressive castle in favour of a hearty breakfast in a cafe. Glancing in the mirror my lip looked somewhat crooked. However, today's plan was to press on to Maidenhead, Marlow and Henley, with the river now making a giant 'n' shape and the towpath adorned with annoyingly frequent signs all beginning with the word 'NO'. I ignored the ones banning cycling, on grounds that I wasn't harming anybody and that the Internet did state that the towpath could be cycled as far as Reading

Planes buzzed their way in and out of Heathrow airport above me as I rode through the playing fields that supposedly once sent the rich kids of Britain into an all-conquering nationalistic ego-trip. How little changes!

I relaxed with a bottle of life-giving Lucozade beside the A4 road-bridge at Maidenhead, and as I continued, the opposite bank was now a wooded escarpment, reminding me of scenes of the Rhine cutting through deep gorges. After another rail/pedestrian bridge, the next part of the ride was very pretty with views of the Chiltern Hills, and the path often just a worn line through tranquil meadows.

Marlow's main street was typical of any small English country town, with the exception of a small suspension bridge at one end. The plethora of 'best kept village awards' would indicate that its inhabitants don't think of it as a town though. Tiredness was beginning to encroach and the barman was impressed as I ordered a Guinness and casually slipped in that I had cycled from Central London.

After passing stands for the famous regatta, I relaxed with a pint of Henley Gold ale in the salubrious town of the same name. I ordered a smoked salmon sandwich, and as rain was threatening I decided to check out the room prices. This was when I nearly passed out. Single room: £300, double: £500, deluxe: £600!

And so to Reading.

At the junction with the Kennet and Avon canal, I took a left turn to disect the town, but one look at the room prices sent me scurrying for the railway station. A £21 train fare home or a room for £80 with rain threatening to stop play the next day anyway. You do the maths!


It was over a month later that I returned to the country town of Berkshire to continue my trail. Returning to that same junction of canal and river, an elderly gent who seemed a little worse for wear, asked me if it was possible to walk the entire length of the Kennet and Avon towpath. Feeling proud at the amount of knowledge I was able to impart in spite of living around 80 miles away, he then asked exactly the same series of questions to the lady behind me. I realised that this was merely a means for him to obtain conversation. It is a shame that we live in such an introverted society that venturing any form of conversation with other people is often viewed with suspicion, unless it consists of asking for directions, brief weather-related chat or complaining about public transport. So as a single bloke from deepest Kent, I humorously muse on how so many people manage to bridge the gap from 'Nice day isn't it?' and 'This train has been late three nights running' to wedding bells and everlasting bliss. Is there a sub-clause in British behaviour that allows a more in-depth exchange that I am not aware of?

The slow demise of the British pub is another sad reflection of this trend. With so many going to the wall due to draconian legislation and '5,000 cans of beer for 50p' deals in supermarkets, just where are people supposed to socialise and meet new people? Or indeed, encounter any form of human interaction? Whilst I found this old man a little scary I did empathise with him.

Anyway, I set off along the Thames towards Goring. On the way I came to Whitchurch and crossed the toll bridge (40p to motorists). I called into the tranquil little church surrounded by salubrious looking houses for a brief sit down, and a little further up the road I passed a small art gallery. I was particularly impressed with a dolls' house completely covered with Ordnance Survey maps all perfectly lined up where the walls meet floors, etc. There was also a series of slightly Van Gogh-esque paintings by a local lady.

The path then descended back to the Thames through a wood, and soon I had arrived at Goring, where I enjoyed a 'posh ploughmans' at a hotel, which came on a wooden service board. I then left the Thames to continue its wayward woute to Oxford and beyond in favour of the western half of the Ridgeway. This ancient route runs along the Chiltern Hills from near High Wycombe all the way to near Avebury in Wiltshire. The Ridgeway is even reputed to be the oldest road still in use in the world, with some sections possibly dating back 20,000 years. Today, only the western section is completely open to cyclists, and I had over 40 miles of it ahead of me. You may recall a group of motorcyclists checking out the route in the TV programme Ridge Riders around 15 years ago.

The views were fantastic and, unlike the South Downs Way (which is a little closer to home), once up the initial climb, the undulations were not too severe, at least to begin with.

I set up camp in a small copse several miles after passing below the A34 – the dual carriageway that Swampy and co. had tried to prevent from being constructed by camping out in trees. Determined to keep my own camping at ground level, I tied up my two pieces of tarpaulin and laid out my sleeping bag beneath it. I concluded the evening with a wander up to the Wantage Memorial cross, by which time dusk was falling and I was nearly ready to blow some zeds.


I awoke to the sound of rain and a cacophany of wood pigeons all making the same 5-note pattern in different tones.

Having bought an avocado for breakfast, I realised that I had no utensils with which to eat it. I cut the fruit open with a pair of hairdressing scissors and scooped it out using a debit card. Bliss!

And then the rain turned to mist and I was on my way, with the industrial chimneys of Didcot visible in the valley below.

I serendipitously passed the highest point in Oxfordshire – White Horse Hill, and beyond this I stopped to view the 5,500 year old Wayland's Smithy burial chamber. A couple were eating lunch on top of this. After a brief exchange about the weather, I got them to take a photo of me by one of the large stones at the entrance. To get this into context, this 'barrow' pre-dates many of the famed sites in ancient Rome and ancient Greece by several millennia.

As the drizzle began again, I dropped down off the hill for lunch into the thatched-cottage village of Ashbury. After two cups of tea and a salmon sandwich, I sampled the local ale (Arkell's of Swindon) and the rain duly stopped.

It was a few miles beyond this that the Ridgeway became a lot more undulous, dropping off the hills to use a wide lane to bridge the mighty M4, before climbing steeply again as a trackway. And the rain was coming down!

In the next valley was another village – Ogbourne St George. I dived into a hotel for a coffee and lamented the fact that there was no village shop there where I could get some provisions to last me out until the restaurant and pub opened. Yet, another good reason to 'support the locals' if you live in a rural community.

It was then a steady climb to Barbury Castle – an Iron Age hill-fort. I had passed a number of these en route but this was easily the most impressive – a circular mound with a ditch around it and a raised bank encircling this. The views were again superb.

Another 5 miles later I had reached my destination of Avebury. I surrendered my 'green' avoidance of excessive meat consumption in favour of a juicy steak, and a friend drove out from Swindon to meet me for an evening drink. Now, Avebury is surrounded by a stone circle which is actually several hundred years older than Stonehenge. The pair of us were treated to some in-depth info about rituals, ley lines and the astrological significance of stone circles from a local Druid. Not the brief exchange about the weather I had expected!

Going back to the 'wonder of being single' I congratulated my friend on the recent addition to his family and we both mused on how life takes its course. In my own case, I tend to bring to mind John Lennon's lyric 'Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans' with increasing regularity as life progresses! The media onslaught of love songs, couples-only events, lack of single characters on TV and films (apart from a few oddballs!), expensive hotel rooms, supplements to go on holiday, more love songs, Valentine's Day marketing, family-orienated Christmas marketing, even more love songs, etc. do seem to give an unconscious message that it is pretty much a 'one size fits all' society to anybody who hasn't met the right person by their 30s. Well, I have added 'singles awareness' to my ever-growing list of 'enlightenment' campaigns!

Er, where was I? Oh yes, it was time to leave the only pub I have ever seen with its own 'pay and display' car park and cycle back to a copse I had spotted earlier to set up camp for the second night, although the wind and darkness made this something of a challenge.


The final day got off to an early start (loud adenoidal wood pigeon), and by the time I had descended back into the valley it was raining hard with lashing wind. I headed for the solace of a bus shelter and waited for this to pass. The next dry spell got me as far as Avebury church before the skies opened again. I was pleased to spot a shop, still surviving due to being run as a local community project, and I purchased a pasty and other comestibles to munch upon as I wandered the stone circle anti-clockwise.

Next up was a look at the highest prehistoric man-made mound in the Europe – another Neolithic creation, known as Silsbury Hill. Observing the haze of rain hanging over the hills to the south, I supped a pint of Devizes brewery's Wadsworth ale in a nearby inn while I evaluated the weather.

The plan of cycling 30+ miles to Salisbury was now abandoned in favour of the lesser feat of riding 12 miles to Swindon for the train home. And so, it was back up the now-familiar A4361 which is actually a section of the lengthy A361 cunningly renumbered to deter long-distance traffic.

The sustained climb was rewarded by a panoramic descent, where I succeeded in breaking the 30mph speed limit on a bike. Whilst my brief journey through Swindon didn't make a lasting impact upon me, it does have an impressive industrial heritage with the Great Western Railway, the Honda car factory and the world's most complicated roundabout. It is also the setting for an interesting novel my friend once leant me about a teenager with Asperger's Syndrome, but I am digressing wildly now!

And so, with a combined tally of almost 200 miles, the two-stage Thames and Ridgeway bike ride came to an end.