Richmond Park to Slough - A Cycling Perambulation

Autumn is upon us, meteorologically at least, and my most recent 'cycling perambulation' began at Chiswick in West London. I decided to pedal down to Richmond Park via Sheen in order to pick up the Tamsin Trail, which is a 7½-mile loop around the park, designed with cyclists in mind. The creator's daughter was called Tamsin and the rest is history. It was extremely pleasant and at one point a deer stood right in front of me in the trail. There are some quite formidable climbs however. Worth seeking out is the 'protected view' where one can see in a straight line through the trees all the way to St Paul's Cathedral. A reasonably detailed map is recommended as you'll need to spot where the route changes course to cut across the western side of the park. I missed my cue and ended up cycling uphill on the road, re-entering the park at Sawyer's Hill.

Having completed my '360,' I left the park, which covers a bigger area than the Bois de Boulogne in Paris, via the Roehampton Gate and I picked up the Thames Path as far as Kew Bridge. My aim was now to pick up the Grand Union Canal towpath westward from where the canal leaves the river in Brentford. I stopped for a quick McDonald's and upon asking if they could fill my flask up with tap water I was told 'We don't do that any more.' I didn't want to make a fuss as the girl serving was very young and had clearly been told to say this, but I did add 'I thought that was illegal' and quickly went into 'keyboard warrior' mode when handed a till receipt inviting customer feedback. Since then I have learned that only licensed premises are obliged to provide free water. In short, they weren't breaking the law; they were just being mean-spirited!

The canal towpath climbed past several locks, and only occasionally did I encounter an urban stretch, reminding me that I was still inside the lasso of the M25. I had ridden most of this canal's towpath before – it goes all the way to Birmingham – but not this section from the Thames up to where the canal link from Paddington comes in. A little further on, I branched off onto the Slough Line, which was dead straight towards the town that is mostly famous for being the setting of the TV comedy 'The Office.' Twilight was descending, and unimaginatively, I headed for the nearest 'Spoons.' Many folk turn their noses up at the pub chain but there is nearly always a free water dispenser available for staff, something that McDonald's could do with introducing if they're too busy to use taps. The real ale is generally excellent and at £1.99 a pint (as it was on this occasion) there were no complaints from me.

After riding through a town centre that seemed well-endowed with restaurants for a non-tourist town, I camped in a small wood adjoining a large park. With Heathrow Airport not far away, the sound of the planes could have been intrusive, but mingled with the traffic drone from the M4, it served more as gently lulling white noise.

Adding no litter to the dreadful accumulation in that wood, I packed up my things the next morning and headed into Old Windsor via Datchet, which seemed a very pleasant place. I was amazed that a 'full English' cost me just £6.80 in Old Windsor, fearing that it would be at least a tenner in this salubrious area! From here, I picked up the Thames towpath, with the aim of following this back into London. To my mind, Old Windsor is the western end of the continuous cycling route along the riverbank, with much of the path being classified 'footpath' west, particularly after Maidenhead to Marlow, Henley-on-Thames, Reading and the great beyond.

After passing Runnymede, made famous by the signing of the Magna Carta by King John in 1215, I passed beneath the M25 to reach Staines-upon-Thames, a town made famous by the comedian Sacha Baron Cohen for making it the home of his 'rude boy' character Ali G. I think the 'Upon Thames' was added to the name purely to offset the perhaps downmarket view of the town that people had due to this. I can confirm that the area around the Thames is very pleasant indeed.

I should have swapped to the south bank at Chertsey. My route along the north bank involved me diligently following the instruction to revert to Shanks' pony at one point, soon after which the route ended abruptly at a ferry crossing. I decided to save myself some cash and I rode to Walton Bridge to resume my route on the south bank. At Hampton Court Bridge the path swaps to the north bank but I followed Hampton Court Road to cut off the meandering bend to Kingston upon Thames (note for the PopMaster quiz if I get on again: I don't think this is 'Kingston' that UB40 were singing about). Here, I decided to take a look at the town centre. I must say that I expected something more artisanal and quaint, akin to Richmond, but the bustling centre felt more like Croydon to me. Interesting though, was the artwork called 'Out Of Order,' which made use of a dozen red telephone boxes which were positioned like a row of tumbling dominoes. Interestingly, for many years Kingston was the administrative HQ of Surrey, in spite of having been within Greater London since 1965. The county council is now based in Reigate while the county town is still Guildford. Confusing, hey?

Eastward from here, cyclists will need to look out for the points where the Thames Path changes sides. It's definitely on the south bank via Richmond and Kew to Barnes, but I cut though Richmond Park to cut off further meanderings. Later on, I found myself diverted away from the north bank due to plush developments which reminded me of Dubai. There was a great view of the former Battersea Power Station across the water, which every Pink Floyd fan knows graces the cover of the band's 1977 album, 'Animals.'

I eventually arrived at Waterloo Station, where, having fallen foul of the 'no bikes on trains from 4pm-7pm' rule, which covers non-folding bikes on all trains leaving London, I sat watching people come and go, a bit like Ray Davies in the famous Kinks song. I eventually summoned the energy to check out the eateries, but I wasn't in the mood for splashing the cash (also a bit like Ray Davies, if the biography I read is to be believed) so I made do with a KFC while sitting on the pavement, as it was one of those seatless places. The surrounding area was also binless so I used a nearby wheelie-bin to deposit the detritus.

And with that, I was soon being whisked back to England's Garden. Two weeks later I would embark upon another two-day trip, this time riding the Flitch Way, a reasonably lengthy section of disused railway, now converted for the pleasure of walkers and cyclists. This runs across Essex from Braintree to Bishop's Stortford, which is just in Hertfordshire. A nearby woodland would provide me with another aircraft-dominated night's sleep, this time courtesy of Stansted, and the ride back across country to Chelmsford the following day would surprise me with myriad quaint villages with thatched cottages. Forget the stereotypes; a significant part of Essex could almost be described as a flattened out version of the West Country. And for the amateur cyclist, that really is no bad thing.

[Adam Colton is the author of 'Stair-Rods & Stars: A Cycling Perambulation']

Thoughts on 'PopMaster,' Sussex Cycling and Modern Music

It seems hard to believe that this is my first blog post of 2024 and it's nearly autumn already. So what of 2024 so far?

Following my appearance on Vernon Kay’s 'Ten To The Top' music quiz on BBC Radio 2 last year, I thought I'd give the original morning radio quiz, 'PopMaster,' a try. It was a pleasure to speak to Ken Bruce who has been a familiar radio voice to me since childhood. I managed to win with a score of 18, which was lower than my usual tally. I'm not sure if anyone would have believed me if I'd have said that I scored the maximum of 39 on one set of questions the day before! For the 'three in ten' I had Madonna. With over seventy UK hits to choose from I got lucky there.

Reassured of my musical credentials I've since released an updated version of my book '2021: A Musical Odyssey.' This started out as a lockdown project, where nights spent alone with a few drinks and an iPod resulted in me revisiting many albums that I'd discovered over the previous three decades, prompting nostalgia and memories which seemed ideal material for a book. But of course the 'musical odyssey' is something that never ends, so the book was expanded and re-released in 2023, and shoehorning a few more albums in, the 2024 reissue is now live - cheap as chips on Kindle and the bare minimum I'm allowed to charge on paperback (it's a reasonably hefty tome!).

However, imagine my despondency when I recently managed to lose my iPod with my entire CD collection on it somewhere near Chichester recently on a summer cycling jaunt.

The county town of West Sussex had proven fatal for me before – I lost a whole bike there once. I had left my bike against a gate to do what gentlemen sometimes do behind hedges and when I returned the bike had disappeared. Oddly I had felt a strange sensation of being watched before popping over the gate, but I put this down to the fact that a tractor was being driven up and down a field in the distance. When I returned I wondered if I had fallen prey to a ‘Derren Brown’ style mind trick, but there was no bike and no Derren. I would have been happy with either! I consequently had to walk the five miles back to Chichester Station along the Centurion Way in a state of total disbelief.

This time I couldn’t work out if I’d left my iPod on the train or lost it in ‘Spoons.’ After my evening meal I revisited both the pub and the station to no avail. As things grew crepuscular (it's always good to get that word into an article), I made my way to a wood near the Roman road to London (Stane Street) and camped. I returned in the morning to those same two locations to receive the same answer. At this point I felt like throwing in the towel and getting the next train home, especially as a huge grey cloud had been depositing wet stuff everywhere.

However, I jumped on my bike and headed eastward and it soon became a warm sunny day. By the end of the day I had almost reached Halland, which is just east of Ringmer, which is just east of Lewes, the county town of East Sussex. At 64 miles, this had been my longest ride since the nineties, eclipsing the 58-mile London to Brighton ride that I took part in in 2002. My longest ever ride is probably still the final day of a ride around Sussex that I did with a certain Mr Catchpole (now a slightly famous science dude thanks to COVID experiments) in 1994.

Anyway, it was with a sense of satisfaction that I dived into the bushes to camp after such a pleasant ride, aided by the wind. The section of the South Downs Way from Pyecombe to Lewes had been particularly rewarding in terms of scenery, with an ominous looking downpour staying just distant enough at this point not to cause alarm. The plan now was to cycle home to Kent from Halland the next day, but the weather had other ideas, and a rain-lashed start to the new day sent me scuttling back to Lewes for the train home. However, after the soaking I wasn’t leaving until I’d consumed a hearty ‘full English.’

Sometime later a familiar face at the local pub came to my rescue with an iPod that he no longer uses. I loaded it up with over 1,100 albums from my iTunes program (all of which I have CD copies of) and life could at last continue along the course it was on before this unfortunate aberration had occurred.

Not everyone was as sympathetic to my plight, with statements such as ‘Why do you need an iPod? Have you never heard of Spotify?’ It is probably old fashioned thinking, but to me if you actually have a physical copy of something you take the time to appreciate it more, and many albums, films and books require this extra bit of dedication to get more out of them.

What I frequently refer to as my favourite album (Pink Floyd’s ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’) left me cold upon first listening as a teenager. Imagine if it had been these days and I had been listening online – I would have simply moved on to something else – but as I’d parted with the best part of a fiver in John Menzies (remember that?) for a cassette I listened again. And again. And again… until its full awesomeness had revealed itself! I could say this about many of my favourite artists, particularly those of the zany variety such as Frank Zappa – again having physical copies made me put in the extra work and not dismiss it as ‘a cacophony.’ A lot of classical music requires repeated attentive listening too.

You could even argue that the modern way of listening to music has shaped the progression of popular music in a way that many of us over forty aren't so keen on. In past times, there were big changes in style every few years from rock & roll to Merseybeat, psychedelia, prog rock, glam rock, punk rock, disco, synth pop, techno, jungle, Britpop, and if you insist, rap, but it does seem that since the millennium I have heard very little that sounds genuinely new in style. Outkast's 'Hey Ya!' was perhaps the last time I heard something on the radio and thought 'I've never heard anything like that before.' I guess if rapid consumption is the name of the game, the market exists purely to put out something that sounds familiar, thus any 'top 40' you hear today could just have easily have come from fifteen years ago. In contrast, imagine playing the Sex Pistols to somebody in the early 1950s, or the latest jungle rave tape to somebody in the late 1970s.

Alternatively, I wonder if we have merely achieved everything that it is possible to achieve with music. Often technology led the progression, from the use of electric guitars to synthesisers and sequencers, but now that we've reached a stage where we can cut and paste anything into a song on a computer program, has the scope for innovation waned? Time will tell. In the meantime, check out the book for more reviews, nostalgia and musical musings. And don't forget to review the reviewer by leaving your ratings and thoughts on Amazon. Rock on...