The A2070 - Original Web Page

[Transcript from original web page. Last updated August 2023]

Known to most locals as the 'A twenty seventy', the A2070 spans just over thirteen miles in Southeast Kent, from Brenzett to Kennington (a northern suburb of Ashford). 

Originally, a mere 'B' road, running from Ashford town centre to the small Romney Marsh town of New Romney, the road was re-classified in the seventies, with the route being switched to end in the tiny village of Brenzett. Then, with the onset of the Channel Tunnel and Ashford's burgeoning growth, spurred on by the international station, the whole route was rebuilt in the early nineties and it is now part of the South Coast Trunk Route. 

The '2070' is perhaps the only road in the UK to have been a B road, an A road, a primary route and a trunk road whilst maintaining the same number. In transport terms, a real 'rags to riches' story and there's even a video here.

1) Hamstreet Bypass

0m Leaving the A259 at Brenzett (approx. half way between Hastings and Folkestone), the road streaks northwards across the completely flat Romney Marsh (famed for its sheep), with only an avenue of poplar trees for company. Brenzett used to be signed as the main destination on the A2070 from Ashford in spite of its small size, but most of the signs now say 'Hastings'. However, as yet, signs on the A259 from Hastings haven't been updated to include the trunk destination of Ashford. Facilities at Brenzett include a filling station, a school and an aeronautical museum. Sadly the Fleur de Lis pub and village post office have bitten the dust.

2m Snave. After the staggered junction with roads from Brenzett Green and Ivychurch (both former incarnations of the '2070'), we pass the hamlet of Snave with our first long straight. St Augustine's church, to the right, has one service annually at harvest festival. Mischievous youths regularly alter the signs to read 'Shave.'

3m Stockbridge. It is hard to believe that at this point traffic used to grind to a halt at the Wey Street T-junction to pass single-file over a ditch. 

4m Hamstreet South (Johnson's Corner). Johnson was a heroic pilot who lost his life in the Second World War. His plane was in trouble as he returned from crossing the Channel; his crew had to bail out but he tragically lost his life at this spot.

Here the old road exits right for Hamstreet. This is a large village compared to most in this area. Hamstreet has a church which was formerly a chapel, as well as a range of shops and services, a railway station, public house (Duke's Head), Indian restaurant, fish and chip shop, cafe, garage, school, surgery and dentist. The village makes a great base for walkers wishing to explore the three long distance footpaths; the Saxon Shore Way, the Greensand Way and the Royal Military Canal Path. The village is famous for its appearance in map-form on a set of postage stamps marking the bicentenery of the Ordnance Survey.

4.5m The canal forms the boundary of the marshes and runs from Seabrook (near Folkestone) to Cliff End (beyond Rye). It owes its existance purely to the threat of invasion from Napoleon. The double bends every 600 yards would have been manned as lookouts.

The bypass was constructed on giant polystyrene blocks to bridge the canal because the ground here is unusually soft. This was the first time this technique was used in the UK, being more usually used to contruct roads over ice-fields in Alaska. Our road streaks straight ahead to climb the ridge of clay hills, with views of Warehorne church to the left and Hamstreet to the right.

5.5m Hamstreet North (Orlestone). The hamlet of Orlestone was the original centre of population here and is the location of the parish church. It wasn't until the damp Romney Marshes were drained that the populace decamped to low-lying Hamstreet, originally known as plain 'Ham'.

There is an exit here to rejoin the old road which continues via Bromley Green and Kingsnorth.

The new road climbs up through the expansive woodlands (well worth a visit), and joins the Hastings to Ashford railway line to the right, running dead-straight for several miles. The four bridges over the road between here and the Southern Orbital junction were designed to blend in with the 1850s brick structures across the railway.

As we traverse more flat, open agricultural land, it is also worth noting that this line is one of only two diesel lines in the provincial Southeast. 

9m Park Farm Estate. The A2070 used to have a clear run from Hamstreet to Ashford, but a roundabout was added in 2006 to accommodate traffic from various new housing projects. Park Farm is a large modern housing estate with a school, a supermarket and a little square not far from the roundabout with a convenience store. However, there is no pub and the long-promised rail halt has never materialised.

Nearby Kingsnorth still just about maintains a village feel, being separated from the burgeoning metropolis by a small ‘green belt'. The village includes a church, a school, a pub (Queen's Head), a motorbike shop and a reunion with the Greensand Way. 

The A2070 continues for another mile in dead straight form, squeezed between the housing estate and the railway line. As it nears the roundabout, the road enters a 50 limit and one encounters a set of traffic lights, to enable cyclists to cross the road from Park Farm to use the path towards the town centre.

2) Ashford South Orbital Road

9.5m Having reached the main Park Farm roundabout, the A2070 then passes beneath Southern Orbital Road to spiral up sharply onto this dual carriageway section, where the national speed limit resumes but by the time you reach 70 mph you’re back into a 50 zone and then a 40.

Meanwhile, the A2042 kindly provides the main route to Ashford town centre, which includes the tented 'designer outlet' and an international station where one could board a 186-mph Eurostar train bound for Paris or Brussels until services were put into limbo thanks to COVID (apparently). The town centre is largely traffic free and the area around the tall parish church of St Mary's still maintains a quaint peacefulness. Ashford has a long history as a railway town, but the works sadly closed in the nineties.

  

10.5m Finberry / Waterbrook. There was originally a roundabout to serve the truck-stop here. This was removed in 2022, being replaced by traffic lights. As we near the junction there is a turning southward to serve the new Finberry Estate. At the junction itself, which is the widest part of the entire A2070, the southern exit leads to a 'lorries only' service area, and the northern exit leads to the relocated Ashford market (bright thinking, sticking it two miles out of town!), as well as business parks consisting largely of car showrooms and a McDonald's which was reported as being the second busiest branch in the world in the early 2020s (yes, seriously).

11m Sevington. Marooned to the right of the speeding traffic, one can make out the spire of Sevington church now surrounded by a huge lorry park where there were once open fields - a consequence of Brexit that leavers rarely boast about! To the left is another business park and the Highfield housing estate. There is another roundabout with a dual carriageway link (also numbered A2070) to junction 10A of the M20, shaving off a corner for coastbound traffic. This was opened in autumn 2019.

11.5m Junction 10. We enter a 40 limit to approach the Lacton Interchange, known to many as the ‘roundabout from hell.' More mild-mannered types merely know it as 'M20 junction 10.' This is the point at which the A2070 ceases to be a trunk road or primary route.

3) Willesborough to Kennington

This final section is the re-designated B2164. Its character is much different from the rest of the road, being a mostly unimproved suburban route, complete with 30mph speed limit. A mini roundabout forms the junction for the William Harvey Hospital. We descend through Willesborough Lees, and crossing the River Stour, we pass Conningbrook Lake (worth a visit), the Bachelors soup factory and the Julie Rose Athletics Stadium.

13m Little Burton Farm. Having crossed the Ashford-Canterbury railway line, one is plunged into suburbia once again. The era of an unbroken view to the North Downs is now history.

13.5m Having bridged the Ashford-Canterbury railway line via parallel humpback bridges, we pass Little Burton estate on the left as we traverse the final half-mile straight to the end of the road. At the roundabout we meet the A28 - another noteworthy route, for it encompasses 58 miles from just north of Hastings to Margate, via Tenterden, Ashford and Canterbury.

Why the A2070?

With Lydd airport being considered for expansion, we may eventually see the B2075 upgraded. If this becomes a southern extension of the A2070 via a multiplex with the A259 through Old Romney, the road would gain another 7 miles. Being really optimistic, we may even see the Lydd branch railway line reopen too.

Many drivers enjoy the Hamstreet bypass section purely because of their desire for speed, hence regular speed-traps are now a feature. The South Orbital section originally formed the boundary of urban Ashford but this is no longer the case. All in all, the road illustrates all that is good and bad about Kent in a mere 13.5 miles. It has improved travel, but it has meant the loss of some rural businesses as well as having a worryingly high accident record.

A2070 Picture Gallery

A Tale of Five English Pubs

Once upon a time, in deepest, darkest Kent, there were five 'Style and Winch' pubs all built to the same design in the first half of the twentieth century. One of these was known as The World's Wonder. It used to be one of a handful of 'locals' that I use but sadly bit the dust in September 2014.

Avoiding the inevitable invective against Government policy and taxation of the working man's place of refuge, I am just going to tell you that this former pub is located in the village of Warehorne, which is located near the larger village of Hamstreet, which is located near the town on Ashford which is located around 55 miles southeast of that big place called London.

I recently achieved something I'd planned to do for years, and this was to visit all four of the Wonder's 'twin pubs.' I remember discussing with the landlord the notion of completing this challenge by bike in a single day a few years ago. Sadly I only visited one of these by bike in the end.

The most southerly of these pubs is The Ship at Lade (pictured), tucked away in a back-street just off of the road along the Southeastern Kent coast between the seaside villages of Greatstone to Lydd-on-Sea - basically almost France, were it not for the water in between. This pub has been redundant for many years, and I took a mosey up there some years ago for the obligatory photo that I have since lost.

In November last year I set out to visit a pub of the lesser-spotted 'open' variety. I caught the train up to Swanley and set off on my bike along what must surely be the longest station access road in Kent! I followed the B-road to Dartford via Hextable. The scenery between the built-up areas reminded me of East Kent, consisting of expansive open fields.

I found my way to the centre of Dartford via a signed detour for bikes. Having been to Liverpool, the home of The Beatles, many times, I was profoundly disappointed by the former hometown of Mick Jagger. I could find no reference to either Jagger or the Rolling Stones in the town centre. I had expected a statue of Mr Jagger complete with pouting lips somewhere in the town and I thought at least one enterprising individual would have opened an alehouse called 'Jagger's Bar' and adorned it with replica gold discs and framed photographs of the group, but like Sir Mick, I got no satisfaction. I have since learned that there is a blue plaque commemorating the place where Jagger and Richards first met at Dartford railway station.

Dartford did however have a bustling market in its high street (as opposed to flinging it out as far as possible as though allergic to such trading like the similarly Kentish town of Ashford). I wheeled my bike past the impenetrable crowds and on via a pleasant park.

The town itself seemed dearly in need of some of its most famous ex-resident's money, but the park was pleasant enough. My aim now was to attempt to follow the River Darent southward. I rode some suburban roads and then found a footpath which brought me out via meadows onto the A225 near the A2 bridge. Just beyond this, in the village of Hawley, was the Papermaker's Arms. I chained up my bike and ventured inside.

The young barman was fascinated when I showed him the picture of the 'Wonder' on my village's hiking page on the Internet. This reminded me of the boy in the film 'A.I.' finding out that he was actually one of many identical models. However, where the boy in the film was devastated, this barman was overjoyed to discover that the pub was one of five!

After supping a local ale, I continued and turned off of the main road to go through the villages of South Darenth and Horton Kirby. The healthy quota of pubs in these Darent Valley villages was nothing short of impressive.

I eventually came out onto the A20 at Farningham and continued along the A225 to picturesque Eynsford where I watched a Landrover splash its way through the ford. Beyond the station, I took a lane to Lullingstone and rode a path by the river, northward again so I could look at the castle. I stood at the impressive arched gatehouse, admiring the stately home across the lawn, before continuing again. A little further, the Roman Villa seemed to be located inside a modern building, designed to preserve it. I feared a fee of some kind (although I was recently impressed by the Roman mosaic situated within the park at St Albans which can be viewed free of charge), and returned to the A225 heading south, making a detour to the village of Shoreham on the lanes, where I counted four pubs. Four!

My ride ended in another village, Otford, where I caught the train home and it wasn't until May 8th 2015 that I returned to the challenge. This time I had my fiancée in tow, having attended our legal preliminary meeting to marrying at Maidstone registry office. Yes, it's complex to marry somebody from outside the EU, although bizarrely if she was marrying somebody from outside the UK but from within the EU and living in the UK, none of the red tape would apply. Like most things in life, this simple meeting expanded to fill our day, as we had make a lightening-speed trip back home (around thirty miles away) in order to return with the photographs and additional line in our 'proof of residency' letter that they hadn't told us we needed.

We were pretty shattered after this and a little drive along to Barming to check out The Redstart Inn seemed to be the perfect tonic. Inside, the bar was lively and I kept hearing words like 'Miliband' and 'Farage.' I guess the recent election had meant a change from the usual pub 'staples' of conversations like football and smut! This particular 'Wonder' was up a quiet residential lane. There was a village feel here, in spite of being on the edge of Maidstone, one of Kent's largest towns.

Our final 'Wonder' would be just a photo, as The Bell at Coxheath is now an Indian restaurant, and dinner was waiting for us at home. This former pub stands beside the east/west B-road in the village centre which has a semi-urban feel. It's even got a set of traffic lights!

So, having completed this challenge a few years behind schedule, I'll leave you to ponder the merits of checking out more of my travel writing on Amazon Kindle or vowing never to waste time on this blog again. If your view is the former, the book 'Mud Sweat and Beers' by Adam Colton may be of interest.

Exploring Ashford - a Perambulation For Two

This month's post is a slightly revised article I wrote the Hamstreet and district parish magazine - a glimpse into village life down in Kent!

I have taken part in the Friends of Kent Churches sponsored ride and stride almost every year since 1991. Whatever your views about religion, the preservation of these historic buildings seems to be part of our heritage, and therefore I enjoy taking part in this annual event, which is replicated across many British counties. The aim to simply bike or walk around as many churches as you can between the hours of 10am and 6pm on a designated September Saturday. For me this event marks the transition from summer into autumn - season of mellow fruitfulness and all that! This year I was 'striding,' for my girlfriend was visiting from Moscow and is unable to ride a bike. I oversaw her one attempt along the towpath of our local Royal Military Canal which almost ended in injury/tragedy.

My day began with picking her up from Heathrow on another visit from Moscow. She generally visits me monthly now. I know of some same-country couples who see each other less, so apart from the onset of a new Cold War we are doing pretty well. Parking fees at Heathrow Airport are nothing short of astronomical, so I usually wait in a layby near the village of Stanwell until I hear that she has got through customs and then whisk round to the drop-off area for a pick-up. Security normally pounce if you're there for more than a minute, so this has to be performed like a slick, MI5-style operation.

We had a quick bacon sandwich and a hot drink in the little cafe in Stanwell (again circumnavigating the airport prices) before the long ride home. When we arrived back in deepest Kent we made an executive decision to drive to the town of Ashford, which is affectionately known locally as either Trashford or Ash Vegas, depending on your level of affection for the town. It's a bit of a 'Marmite' place I guess!

So what is Ashford famous for? Answer: the mathematician John Wallis (inventor of the infinity symbol), the philosopher Simone Weil and I believe it was once the home of the funniest James Bond, Roger Moore.

We parked up and made our way through the unremarkable suburbs of South Ashford. Suddenly, it seemed like a completely different day to when I'd done the frenetic airport run just two hours ago. Surprisingly, the suburbs were quite interesting for Katrina, as they are very different from Moscow suburbs, which tend to consist entirely of high-rise buildings. It's also a side of England you won't find in the tourist guides. Can't think why!

After this we headed for the town centre passing Victoria Park. The Centrepiece Church in Bank Street had a Nepalese dinner taking place and as we left we were simultaneously saying 'that smelt nice' and 'that made me feel sick.' Our next church was St Mary's (pictured) – the cathedral of the Ashford metropolis if you like. In recent years it has become a formidable music venue boasting acts as well-known as Fairport Convention. In the absence of a theatre this seems a good idea, although not everybody is in agreement. The local newspaper reported on a young man who camped in the churchyard to protest against the removal of a number of the pews during this adaption process.

Leaving with a cake, we wandered down to the Baptist church and then decided it was lunchtime, enjoying a delicious sushi meal at a new Japanese restaurant that had opened. Previously something of a culinary void, Ashford seems to be improving, as I understand that there is now also a tapas place in the centre of town. The town is tipped to become Kent's most populated settlement by 2030, overtaking the county town of Maidstone and the Medway town of Gillingham during its stratospheric rise from it's origins as a small market town. A few more amenities certainly wouldn't go a miss, although the powers that be seem to have an almost obsessional fixation with throwing all known outlets out onto the periphery for the exclusive use of those who want to drive everywhere.

Recently the road system has even gained the attention of Jeremy Clarkson who made derogatory comments (no surprise there) about the new shared space road scheme, an idea imported from the continent where drivers and pedestrians have equal priority. Often Mr Clarkson seems like he is playing a character on TV - a deliberately provocative stereotype. I wonder if he might be an environment loving, ambassador of equal opportunities in real life, in the way that comic actor, Steve Coogan plays the character of the TV and radio host, Alan Partridge, who has remarkably similar views to Jezza. Now I come to think of it, which came first?

Next it was up to the catholic church, and then more suburbs to go to the Quaker friends meeting place which is located in a back-street just north of the ring-road. After winding up a friend of mine by sending him a photograph of his workplace on his day off, we wandered along to the suburb of Willesborough, which (as well as three churches) boasts an attractive windmill and a hospital named after William Harvey, who famously discovered the circulation of the blood (he was born in nearby Folkestone).

Passing the designer shopping outlet, which is Europe's largest tented structure, even eclipsing the millennium dome in surface area, we bridged the mighty A2042 and called at two more churches in South Ashford before wandering back to the car, tired but contented. I was glad we didn't opt for the longer option of walking to the two churches in the northern suburb of Kennington as well. There was just enough time for a rest before more walking in the evening to a local beer festival two miles from my home. Funny how the walk back from these events always takes twice as long!

Sayings in English - The Proverbial

Following a conversation with a friend in a local pub about sayings our grandparents used to use, I decided to compile a comprehensive list of all the ones I remember. Some are still in use, whilst others may be quite nostalgic for people who, like me, have grown up hearing them. Many of these are old beliefs about the weather (the English obsession), some are merely phrases used in various situations and others are pearls of wisdom lifted from such sources as the bible and Shakespeare. I have kept the wordings exactly as I used to hear them from my relatives however. A few of these old sayings have even found themselves enshrined in popular songs; others are just Kentish folklore from a bygone era. I have also added a few notes in square brackets where I felt a need.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
A cat can look at a king (so surely I can look at you?)
A cat has nine lives
A change is as good as a rest
A chip of the old block
A daughter's a daughter all her life, a son's a son till he gets a wife
A dead man tells no tales
A dripping June sets all in tune
A fool and his money are soon parted
A friend in need is a friend indeed
A good workman never blames his tools
A hot summer means a cold winter [and vice versa]
A hungry man is an angry man

A leopard doesn't change its spots
A rolling stone gathers no moss
A rose between two thorns
A rotten apple spoils the barrel
A stitch in time saves nine
A storm in a teacup
A taste of your own medicine [also known as 'just desserts']
A trouble shared is a trouble halved
A watch-pot never boils
A wise man keeps his own counsel
A wolf in sheep's clothing
A woman's work is never done
A worm will turn
Absence makes the heart grow stronger
Action speaks louder than words
Adding insult to injury
After dinner rest a while, after supper run a mile
All is fair in love and war
All mouth and no trousers
All roads lead to Rome
All tarred with the same brush
All that glitters is not gold
All water under the bridge [in the past]
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All's well that ends well
Always look after number one
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
An Englishman's home is his castle
Another nail in the coffin
As the days lengthen, so the cold strengthens
As you make your bed, so you must lie on it
As you sow, so must you reap
Be a brick, my father said, never heed a laugh
Be sure your sins will find you out
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is only skin-deep
Beggars can't be choosers
Better late than never
Better safe than sorry
Better the devil you know than the devil you don't
Between one and two you know what the weather will do
Blessed is he who expects nothing
Birds of a feather flock together
Blood is thicker than water
Blowing your own trumpet
Brevity is the soul of wit
Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth
Cat got your tongue? [said to a reticent person]

Caught between a rock and a hard place / the devil and the deep blue sea
Charity begins at home
Cleanliness is next to godliness
Cool, calm and collected
Corn in Egypt! [exclamation of surprise]
Creaking doors last the longest
Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye [said when telling the truth]
Curiosity killed the cat
Cut from the same cloth
Cutting your nose off to spite your face
Dicing with death
Digging your own grave
Discretion is the better part of valour
Don't bite the hands that feeds you
'Don't care' didn't care, 'don't care' was hung, 'don't care' was put in a pot and boiled till he was done
Don't cross your bridges before you get to them
Don't beat about the bush
Don't bite off more than you can chew
Don't bite the hand that feeds you
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched
Don't get your knickers in a twist
Don't kill the goose that laid the golden egg
Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing

Don't put all your eggs in one basket
Don't put the cart before the horse
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die
Elephants never forget
Empty vessels make the most noise
Every cloud has a silver lining
Every dog has his day
Every time you bar you lose a bite
Evil be to he who evil speaks
Faint heart never won fair lady
Familiarity breeds contempt
Feed a cold and starve a fever
Fight fire with fire
Finders keepers, losers weepers
Fine feathers make fine birds
Fire is a good servant but a poor master
Following in father's footsteps
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
Give them an inch and they take a mile
Gift, friend, foe, true lover, journey to go [superstition about the meanings of white marks on nails from thumb to little finger]
Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves
God made the country and man made the town
Going round the sun to meet the moon

Gone to the dogs [same as 'gone downhill']
Good riddance to bad rubbish
Grab the bull by the horns
Great minds think alike
Great oaks from little acorns grow
Green with envy
Grinning like a Cheshire cat
Grow old gracefully
Hair of the dog that bit you [an alcoholic drink to cure a hangover]
Half a loaf is better than none
Have you swallowed the dictionary?
He/she could sell snow to the Eskimos
He/she could talk the hind-legs off a donkey
He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day
He who laughs last laughs the longest
He who pays the piper calls the tune
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Honesty is the best policy
Hope springs eternal
Horses for courses [to each his own]
Hunting with the hounds and running with the foxes
I feel like a fish out of water

I feel like the wreck of the Hesperus
If a job's worth doing, its worth doing properly
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again
If it ain't broke don't fix it
If the cap fits wear it
If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen
If you pay peanuts you get monkeys
If you want to live and thrive, let a spider run alive
I'll have your guts for garters!
I'm not as green as I am cabbage-looking
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
In for a penny, in for a pound
Instant heat and instant cold [a reference to electric fires in the coal-fire era]
It never rains unless it pours
It takes all sorts to make a world
It's always calmest before the storm
It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
It's easy to be wise after the event

It's enough to make a saint swear
It's enough to make your blood boil
It's no use crying over spilt milk
It's no use closing the stable door after the horse has bolted
It's not worth the paper it's written on
It's the last straw that broke the camel's back
Its bark is worse than its bite
Jack of all trades, master of none
Just what the doctor ordered
Keeping up with the Joneses
Killing two birds with one stone [solving two problems at once]
Know which side your bread is buttered on
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone
Laughter is the best medicine
Least said, soonest mended
Let sleeping dogs lie
Life is not a bowl of cherries / bed of roses
Like father, like son
Link fingers and make a wish [when two people say the same thing]
Little children should be seen and not heard [old fashioned parenting]
Live and let live
Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves
Look before you leap
Looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses
Looking for a needle in a haystack
Love / money makes the world go round
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe
Mackerel sky; not long wet, not long dry
Make hay while the sun shines
Making a rod for your own back
Making mountains out of molehills
Manners maketh man
Many a true word said in jest
Many hands make light work
March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb [or vice versa]
March winds and April showers bring forth May flowers
Marry in haste, repent at leisure
Mind your Ps and Qs ['pleases' and 'thank yous']
Miser, miser, counting gold, what you gonna do when you get old?
Money is the root of all evil
More haste, less speed
Mutton dressed as lamb
Necessity is the mother of invention
Never buy a pig in a poke
Never cast a clout till May be out
Never in a month of Sundays
Never judge a book by its cover
Never look a gift horse in the mouth
New brooms sweep cleanest
No man is an island
No news is good news
No peace for the wicked
No sense, no feeling
North wind doth blow and we shall have snow
Once bitten, twice shy
Once in a blue moon [not very often]
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told [counting magpies]
One good turn deserves another
One man's meat is another man's poison
One swallow doesn't make a summer
Opening up a can of worms / hornet's nest
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of the frying pan, into the fire [from bad to worse]
Patience has its own reward
Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, seldom seen in women, never seen in man
Penny for your thoughts?
Penny wise, pound foolish
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Plenty more fish in the sea
Politeness costs nothing
Pot calling kettle black [nothing about race I hasten to add]
Practice makes perfect
Practice what you preach
Pride goes before a fall
Procrastination is the thief of time
Promises, like pie-crust, break easily
Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Put your money where your mouth is
Rain before seven clears up at eleven
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight; red sky at morning, shepherd's warning
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Rob Peter to pay Paul
Rome wasn't built in a day
Rubbing salt into the wound
Running around like a headless chicken
Rushing around like a blue-a***d fly
Rushing around like a bull in a china shop
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit
Schooldays are the best days of your life
See a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck
Seeing is believing
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil [known as the three wise monkeys]
Self praise is no recommendation
Set a thief to catch a thief
Shooting yourself in the foot
Six of one and half a dozen of the other
Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind
Spare the rod and spoil the child [old fashioned parenting again]
Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me
Sticking out like a sore thumb
Still waters run deep
Strike while the iron is hot
Talk of the devil and he's sure to appear
That gets my goat!
That's just the tip of the iceberg
The best presents come in small parcels
The best things in life are free

The best thing since sliced bread
The bigger they come, the harder they fall
The darkest hour is before the dawn
The devil makes work for idle hands
The early bird catches the worm
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
The lesser of two evils
The path to true love never runs smooth
The pen is mightier than the sword
The proof of the pudding is in the eating

The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
There's many a slip betwixt cup and lip
There's method in the madness
There's more than one way to skin a cat
There's no smoke without a fire
There's none so blind as those who can't see
They couldn't run a p*** up in a brewery
Throw your rubbish where you throw your love
Till the cows come home [a long time]
Time and tide wait for no man
Tomorrow never
Too many cooks spoil the broth
Too many chiefs and not enough Indians
Touch wood [to prevent misfortune]
Turn over a new leaf
Two faces under one hat
Two wrongs don't make a right
United we stand, divided we fall
Unlucky at cards, lucky in love
Using a sledgehammer to crack a nut
Variety is the spice of life
Walls have ears and windows have eyes
Waste not want not
Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink
We'll climb that hill when we get to it

What a name to go to bed with!
What a sight for sore eyes!
What are you, a man or a mouse? [said to a coward]
What did your last servant die of?
What the eye don't see the heart don't grieve
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander
When one door closes another door opens
When the wind is in the west, it is at its very best; when the wind is in the east, 'tis neither fit for man nor beast
When in Rome do as the Romans do
Where there's a will there's a way
Where there's muck there's brass
Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?
You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink
You can't burn the candle both ends
You can't get blood from a stone
You can't have your cake and eat it too
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs
You can't put an old head on young shoulders
You can't see the wood for the trees
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
You can't teach Granny to suck eggs
You look like a drowned rat [wet]
You look like the cat that got the cream
You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards

You wouldn't say boo to a goose [timid]
You're barking up the wrong tree
You've swallowed the dictionary [said to somebody using long words]
Your eyes are bigger than your belly

The South Coast Trunk Road (Part II)

[Last updated January 2020]

Last time I left you stranded near Pevensey in East Sussex. This month we complete the South Coast Trunk Road narrative (purloined from a withdrawn web page of mine) with a large portion of A259.

Nicknamed as the ‘world’s worst trunk road’ by some, this road is of a reasonable standard to begin with, being a long, tree-lined straight (actually some of the gentlest curves imaginable). It then bears smoothly right and climbs, suddenly winding back and forth at the top, before slowing right down to enter unbanity (or ur-banality) for the next ten miles, beginning with Little Common. There is a 30 limit for much of this section.

Bexhill (apparently the home of British motor racing) presents us with one roundabout and a box junction where the A2690 uses a former railway trackbed to bypass the suburbs to reach the A21. Personally I think it would be better utilised by number it as an extension to the A28 as a signed route to Ashford, avoiding the urbanity that is follow on the A259.

So, back to the A259, there is a brief rat-race climb, where the road briefly flirts with dual carriageway around the back of the town centre, quirklily named King Offa Way. Then it plunges back into urbanity with a long, slow straight all the way to the out-of-town entertainment complex that marks the border with Hastings.

After Bulverhythe, the road passes under the railway bridge and finds its way to the sea, running along the promenade of St Leonards, all the way to Hastings, where the greensand escarpment above the old town is ever prominent, crowned with its castle. Apart from Dymchurch and Sandgate on the now-detrunked part of the A259 (Kent), this is the only point that the South Coast route truly hugs the coast.

At the centre of the ‘birthplace of television’, you will pass the pier and fun fair to your right. This epithet is due to John Logie Baird once residing in the town. I have heard that notable births in Hastings include Suggs (of the band Madness) and funny person, Jo Brand.

Beyond a completely pointless roundabout, you will pass the old, black, wooden fishing sheds. The A259 then dives inland for a sustained climb of almost a mile through the suburban housing, to Ore. Trumped ambitiously as ‘Ore Village’, the road forms the main shop-lined street here, and a short climb later, it presents the motorist with breath-taking views before its steep descent.

There used to a crawler lane all the way up the hill for traffic coming the opposite way. This has been shortened in recent years – maybe an attempt at traffic calming!

Beyond Guestling, the road narrows, then winds, then narrows some more, and regains its confidence for a mile or so before Icklesham, which has a windmill. The road regains momentum again beyond this pleasant village, with an impressive descent followed by the resulting climb to Winchelsea – Britain’s oldest ‘new town’, laid out in a grid pattern in the 13th century – well worth a visit and often quoted as ‘England’s smallest town’. Spike Milligan is buried in the churchyard, with 'I told you I was ill' in Gaelic etched on his stone (the same phrase in Engish being deemed too irreverent!).

The A259 has no such interest, and passing one of the three stone archways, it drops steeply down the wooded hillside with a sudden hairpin-bend at the bottom. After a bumpy ‘risk of grounding’ undulation, it uses straight lines along the banks of the Royal Military Canal to plot its narrow route across the marshes to Rye, a larger town which successfully contorts the A259 by 180 degrees to cross the River Tillingham, before hiding it away between the southern undercliff and its Victorian terraces. The Rye town model in the tourist office is a fascinating glimpse of the town's history.

After another mini-roundabout and a narrow bridge over the River Rother, the road streaks purposefully in a dead-straight line out onto the vast expanses of Romney Marsh – totally flat, pastoral, grazing land which remains so for the next 13 miles of our route. This speedy beginning is deceptive - at East Guldeford there's a chicane between two level crossings, and two right-angle bends follow, first right and then left, where we cross the border into Kent.

The Cheyne Court wind-farm is ever present here. After two more right-angle bends, the A259 remembers that it is a trunk road, widening and straightening out, through-passing Brookland with a 50 limit and roundabout. It used to run through the pretty High Street, sadly now devoid of basic amenities, however Brookland's church is worth a visit as its steeple is on the ground! You will barely notice the level crossing as you speed towards Brenzett – the transport hub of the marsh.

The next section is a real ‘rags to riches’ story. From the 2070’s humble beginnings as a B road from New Romney to Ashford, it has now usurped the Brenzett to Folkestone section of the A259, which has been detrunked, due to being a predominantly urban crawl through a series of coastal towns and villages.

The new route is a top-grade single carriageway to Ashford. The road has even been recommended for speed trails by motorcycle magazines – not advised! The terrain is completely flat, passing the hamlet of Snave towards the gently curving section that climbs the clay hills around Hamstreet – worth a detour for its typically Kentish weather-board buildings, and once featured on a set of UK postage stamps. We cross the Royal Military Canal again as we climb onto the ridge of clay hills. The canal was built as a barrier against a feared attack from Napoleon and is the UK's third longest defensive structure.

Beyond this village, the road is almost motorway-like, although still a single carriageway, with five bridges and only one further junction. It climbs through forest which was once part of the great forest of Anderida which covered the whole of the Weald. The picture at the top of the page is of this section. Our road then follows the railway line dead-straight across flat farmland until the roundabout serving the sprawling southern estates of Ashford.

A mile later, the A2070 reaches another roundabout and enters a brief 50 limit, to spiral up sharply onto the dual carriageway Southern Orbital road. This is now the land of business parks, and it is due to become much more urbanised as time goes on, with the proposed expansion of Ashford. Within two miles, you will cross another two roundabouts, taking the dual carriageway to junction 10A on the M20 which opened in 2019 which is where our trunk route ends, as the M20 steals its thunder towards Folkestone and Dover. It's been emotional!

The South Coast route as described is no longer used as a general east-west route, with most patrons opting for the M20, M26, M25 and a suitable conduit southward (M23/A3/M3/A303). Although efforts have been made to improve some parts of this road (Brighton bypass/Polegate bypass/Hamstreet bypass), it is hoped by many locals that no full-scale upgrade of the entire route occurs. In the interest of the countryside that remains along this varied route, they may just have a point.